'Self-bondage' is the practice of
sexual bondage without a partner. This means tying or otherwise restraining oneself for the purpose of sexual
pleasure. The idea of self-bondage can also be extended by using release mechanisms to restrain two (or more) people for a period which they cannot control.
[1] As self-bondage is usually performed alone, it has several distinctive features not present in conventional bondage, including:
★ an increased element of
risk
★ a need for reliable release mechanisms (after a delay), and
★ special techniques for applying complex bondage to oneself at a time when movement is increasingly restricted.
Self-bondage is also characterised by experimentation and ingenuity, and the opportunity to devise novel schemes and variations — in or out of
fictional stories — is part of the appeal, and part of the increased danger.
Risks of self-bondage
Self-bondage is considered a higher risk activity than many other
BDSM practices — particularly when combined with
autoerotic asphyxia — and has led to many recorded deaths. It is estimated that there are 500 to 1,000
autoerotic fatalities each year in the
United States, of which a substantial proportion include self-bondage as a factor. The death in
1994 of
Stephen Milligan, the British Conservative MP for
Eastleigh, was a case of
autoerotic asphyxiation combined with self-bondage, and rumours persist that it was also the cause of death of rock singer
Michael Hutchence.
Self-bondage has all the risks of
physical restraint and sexual bondage, with the added factor that should anything go wrong, there is no-one to effect a rescue. For example, if
blood circulation cuts off sensation in limbs, the planned escape mechanism may not be usable.
Despite this, many practitioners insist that self-bondage can be performed relatively safely if it is conducted with a view to minimising risk. Common safety advice includes measures such as:
★ Abstaining from "strict" self-bondage entirely (see below)
★ Avoiding anything that might restrict breathing, such as restraints on the
chest or
neck, or
gags
★ Using multiple release mechanisms as a backup in case one fails
★ Ensuring that assistance can be called for if needed, or arranging for someone to check at a specified time
★ Avoiding anything that can cause limbs to go numb or cut off circulation, such as metal handcuffs or overly tight ropes
★ Building up the complexity of the bondage slowly over several sessions, and only adding elements one at a time
★ Abstaining from substances that might impair judgment, such as
alcohol
★ Before engaging in self-bondage, make certain that anything which can cause a fire or a choking hazard, say a gas stove, are not in play.
★ '''Be Realistic, being completely immobile for an entire weekend might sound like fun, but as said before - remember you're human, you need food, toilet, washing, and cramp is never good - lack of some of them can be fatal, keep it to a few hours, or overnight at the most.'''
Strict versus sensual
A distinction can be made between ''strict'' and ''sensual'' self-bondage
[2]. In sensual self-bondage, escape from restraints is simple and available immediately, if desired. For example, the
keys might be within reach or the
knots loosely tied. The chief aim is the sensation of immobility and of constrained movement.
Strict self-bondage, by contrast, requires that the means of escape is unavailable for a period of time and the person must remain in bondage until the release mechanism is activated, regardless of whether or not they would voluntarily continue the scene further if they had the choice. Although strict self-bondage is potentially more hazardous, some practice it for the greater feeling of helplessness.
There is an alternative approach sometimes recommended which takes the middle ground, and achieves a compromise between safety and strictness. The method is to use a backup release mechanism that is available immediately, but carries with it some penalty or cost with its use. For example, keys could be placed in a bucket of paint. The person in self-bondage can escape quickly if necessary, such as a fire breaking out, or excessive numbness of limbs. However, the annoyance of cleaning up the paint afterwards would coerce the person into waiting for the main release mechanism to come into effect if they were merely bored or uncomfortable.
Release mechanisms
Many release mechanisms are used in self-bondage to allow the practitioner to escape the restraints after a period of time. There are various trade-offs to be made between ease of use, reliability, precision of timing, cost, and so forth. There should be several mechanisms available, thus ensuring redundancy and safety.
★ ''Ice cubes'': Ice cubes are commonly used in release mechanisms. One method — there are many variants, but the principle is the same — is to place ice in a sock and slide a key ring over it. The sock is then attached to an out-of-reach place. When the ice melts, the keys fall, allowing escape. Advantages include simplicity and reliability (ice is easily obtained, and inevitably melts). The disadvantage is that it can be difficult to gauge precisely how long a scenario will last, although some enjoy the uncertainty.
★ ''Ice locks'': Parts of ice locks are frozen together and do move until the ice has melt down. Can be used alone (to lock a person to a stationary object) or in combination with tightening devices (to keep the tension for a certain period of time).
[3]
★ ''
Combination lock'': Combination locks can be used as release mechanisms. There are two approaches: those that rely on the time needed to try every possibility for an unknown combination, and those that rely on light in order to see to enter the known combination correctly.
★
★ ''Unknown combination'': The idea is that the lock is reset to an unknown combination, then used to lock the bondage in place. The person must find the correct combination by trial and error. A three digit combination lock contains a thousand possibilities. At a second per attempt, this would take approximately 15 minutes. For a four-digit lock, it is nearer two hours. Disadvantages include the fact that it may be distracting to actively "crack" the lock.
★
★ ''In darkness'': Even if the number is known, for many locks, it is not possible to enter the combination without being able to see the faces of the dials. This release mechanism relies on darkness. The light can be provided either by the morning
sunlight, or, preferably, through a light on a
timer switch. The advantages include a large amount of control over how long the bondage lasts (with a timer), and a backup of the onset of daylight. The disadvantages are only being able to use the technique at night, and having to perform the bondage in the dark.
★ ''
Electromagnets'': Electromagnets can be used to release keys after a delay. If combined with electronics or a computer, a large amount of control is possible over the timing, and the mechanism is somewhat "
fail-safe" — if power fails, the key will fall early. Disadvantages include complexity and cost. The powerful electromagnets used in door locks can also be adapted for use directly as restraints.
★ ''
Soldering Irons'': Soldering Irons can be used, in conjunction with a timing mechanism, to cut a nylon rope, or to release keys.
★ The use of a delivery/messenger service or regular mail in order to obtain the object (usually key/keys) needed in order to become released. This relies on the delivery service being 100% efficient.
There are also a number of release mechanisms designed to be emergency backups. The idea behind these release mechanisms is that triggering them will cause something undesirable to happen, and thus are only used in situations where death or serious injury could occur otherwise.
★ ''Paint tin'': A backup key is stored in a tin of paint, ink or motor oil in such a way that recovering the key will cause the contents of the container to spill, causing costly damage to a carpet or other possessions. This mechanism can be used for extremely quick release in an emergency such as a fire.
★ ''Unpleasant drink'': An unpleasant liquid, such as urine, is stored in a container. The key is only released when the contents of the container has been drunk (it should be designed so that the contents can not be spilled. The idea is to make the drink so unpleasant that it will only be considered as a last resort.
★ ''Rescue'': A friend or relative is notified to come over at a certain time (that time being after the bondage session is planned to end). The friend may or may not be aware of the bondage, and thus the rescue may be embarrassing. An alternative is to position a phone somewhere that is accessible during the bondage, so that a friend or the emergency services may be called if the planned release mechanisms fail.
[1]
Techniques
Apart from release mechanisms, self-bondage poses a somewhat awkward problem of getting ''into'' bondage, especially when using rope. What might be a relatively simple matter for couples can be considerably more complex alone.
With rope, the main difficulty is tying the
hands in a way that is not easy to untie. One common solution is to use a ''
cinch noose'' — essentially a kind of
slip knot — together with a ''coil'' (a
loop of rope). The
wrists are placed through the coil with the cinch noose between the wrists and around the coil. To achieve a basic
hogtie position, the cinch noose is tied to the
ankles. With pressure, the noose tightens the wrist coil, securing the hands. It proves very difficult to escape from, and usually a knife or scissors is required to cut free.
Equipment that can be tightened only, and not loosened, often has application in self-bondage. This includes
handcuffs,
zip ties and
ratcheting pulleys.
Commercial equipment
While for the most part self-bondage is performed using ordinary and easily available equipment (indeed, it lends itself to impromptu adaptation and a "do it yourself" approach), a few commercial products have appeared — in the
United States for the most part — catering for the self-bondage practitioner.
See also
★
Escape artist
★
Bondage (BDSM)
External links
★
A set of summaries of and references to articles on self-bondage fatalities
★
soc.subculture.bondage-bdsm FAQ appendix
★
Time release methods
★
Self-bondage techniques
★
IceBondage Self Bondage Safety Information Site & Wiki.