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:''For the Scottish footballer, see Bob Kelso (footballer)
'Dr. Robert "Bob" Kelso', M.D. (most commonly referred to as 'Bob Kelso', ' Bobbo' or 'Kelso') is a fictional character played by Ken Jenkins in the American sitcom ''Scrubs''.

Contents

Profile

Personal background

Peculiarities

Kelso's humanity

References

Profile

Bob Kelso is the truculent chief of medicine for the hospital. He graduated twelfth in his class at Stanford University in 1968, although he had claimed to have graduated first in the class of 1972, until his lie was exposed by a patient using her Internet capable cellphone^[1].
He always puts the long term interests of the hospital above the interests of any individual patient. In "My Jiggly Ball", Kelso kicks a poor patient out of a drug trial to make room for a rich patient. The poor patient dies, but the rich patient makes a donation to the hospital that allows them to fund free pre-natal care for poor single mothers.^[2] Dr. Cox objects to Kelso's cold decisions (saying that Kelso is "the most evil human being on the planet, and may in fact be Satan himself"^[3]). But J.D. seems to appreciate the difficulty of Kelso's position, thinking "I wouldn't want to have to make any of the decisions that he makes."
Dr. Kelso says he doesn't care about his employees, and often insults them or makes jokes at their expense. But deep down he really does seem to care about them. When Elliot Reid disagrees with Dr. Kelso on a medical decision, Kelso allows her to proceed with her preferred method of treatment. When it fails and the patient dies, Kelso tacitly praises her for making a bold decision, and refers to her as a colleague — although he is quick to add "I hate my colleagues". ^[4]
He is married, but he often speaks ill of his wife, Enid, and cheats on her. He prefers women from Southeast Asia ("for the food"^[5]). But he does, secretly, care about his wife, as evidenced by the love songs he wrote for her in "My Tuscaloosa Heart".^[6] Then again the song might be Kelso's way to reminisce about a better past with Enid, in contrast to a decadent marriage.
Dr. Kelso drives a Cadillac he calls Bessie, which he is extremely fond of; he cries when he sees the damage another car does to it in "My New Old Friend".

Personal background

Kelso has said his father, Dr. Kelsonovich, moved to Monroeville, Pennsylvania and that he played baseball as a star shortstop in Altoona, about two hours away on Route 22 East. He can play the guitar and wrote numerous blues songs in college. His father was also a doctor, who endeared himself to his poorer patients by accepting gifts such as food and clothing in lieu of actual payment; he was apparently less generous to his own family, however, having left them on Kelso's own bike (an event to which Kelso attributes his irrational hatred of bikes).^[7]
Kelso was in the Navy during the Vietnam War, and he claims that his fingernails were pulled out in that conflict. In "My Quarantine", he claims to have only one testicle^[8] In "His Story IV", he says he has a tattoo of the word "Johnny" on his buttocks ("...he's an old sailor buddy, and if you went through what we did, you'd understand"). He had a squad leader named Roger Dorsee, who died in his arms. His wife worked in his hospital as a nurse during his early career; as a young doctor, he slapped the bottom of an attractive nurse walking by, declaring, "Foxy Enid!"^[9]. Although she is never shown, it can be inferred that she is morbidly obese, paralysed from the waist down and is confined to a wheelchair. In "My Common Enemy", Kelso secretly gives her antidepressants to kill her sex drive. He has two children: a son, Harrison, a gay heavy metal fan, and a secret love child, Trong Tri Kelso, the product of his relationship with a Vietnamese woman. The existence of his love child embarrasses him, but he still pays for the boy's college education.^[10] Kelso's wife and sons are unseen characters who are often referred to but never seen by the audience, although Enid is briefly seen from behind reclining in her wheelchair and Harrison is shown in a flashback when he was a child, and was also shown briefly and distantly in a photograph. He also had a dog, Baxter, whom he adored^[11]. Baxter dies in "My Chopped Liver". In "My No Good Reason", Elliot gives Kelso a bulldog named Boomer that used to belong to a now-deceased patient^[12].

Peculiarities

Kelso is a strong advocate of nepotism. Dr. Cox refuses no opportunity to insult Kelso and even punched Kelso in the face in "My Dream Job"^[13]. Cox has often been the perpetrator behind pranks on his boss, though he doesn't always escape retribution. However, in more recent episodes, the animosity between the two of them appears to have softened somewhat^[14].
Despite his age, he has an apparently insatiable sexual appetite. Most episodes feature at least one reference to his exploits or tastes in this regard. He has almost no shame about his adultery and lecherousness, and seems to enjoy making people feel uncomfortable by talking about his behavior. He even had a "happy ending" in a massage parlour while colleague Christopher Turk is forced to watch (due to a crick in his neck).
"My Case Study" reveals that Kelso has a tradition involving his wedding anniversary: the day of his anniversary, he is blissfully happy due to the night of lovemaking with his wife, and becomes uncharacteristically generous. This is therefore the only good day any staff can approach him and ask him for something, e.g. new equipment. He later says a word too many, causing Turk to realize that the lovemaking never actually takes place, since Kelso's wife is at "fat camp". Kelso reveals that it is actually a ruse so that employees only ask him for favors one day a year^[15].
He is determined to let everyone in Sacred Heart know who is boss; to reinforce his superiority, he picks out one individual every semester and drives them to their breaking point. Sacred Heart's lawyer, Ted Buckland, is also a frequent target of Kelso's malice; Kelso is fond of bossing the milquetoast Ted around and depriving him of any kind of joy or comfort during the work day.
Kelso has had a musical called "Dr. Dad" written about him by his son, Harrison , who later "shacked up" with the actor who played Kelso in the musical^[16].
Kelso is a master of Ms. Pac-Man and uses the game as a stress reliever, and has a high score of 40,000,000 (although in actuality the highest score possible in Ms. Pac-Man is 3,333,360). In one episode, Turk cuts off the power cord to the Ms. PacMan arcade in retribution for Kelso parking on the basketball court. Kelso confronts Turk, stating that to get that score he "ignored patients so much that people ''died''". Kelso also "competes" with Turk for a spot on the bench to eat their lunch in a peaceful area in "My Nickname" (he is impressed with Turk's efforts). He has also assured himself that Turk's name is Turk Turkleton after getting drunk at Turk and Carla's wedding and has called him "Turkleton" since. Later, when Turk reminds him of his real name, Kelso says that he prefers Turkleton. (Turky Turkelton is a reference to a character in Stephen King's book ''Misery''.)
One of his personal quotes is "What has two thumbs and doesn't give a crap? [gives a double thumbs-up at himself] Bob Kelso." Kelso has used this quote or some variation of it at least three times in the history of the series. This is part of another personality quirk, as stated by series creator Bill Lawrence in the DVD commentaries: Dr. Kelso loves to say his own name (or as noted by Dr. Cox, just to hear it).
Kelso seems to pine for the old days of being a doctor, having not personally dealt with patients since he was promoted to Chief of Medicine. In "My Boss's Free Haircut", he confesses to Dr. Cox that he misses the days when doctors were respected and rewarded for their service to humanity.
"My Transition" reveals that Kelso has "oddly youthful" legs - he shaves them during spring so he can show them off in the hospital, and is able to jump eight feet above his head thanks to his well-defined calf muscles. In Vietnam, he was able to jump into helicopters when they hovered at said height above the ground for pickup.^[17]
Kelso has a habit of making jokes or references that no-one understands or that require inside information to understand.
He is fond of spending the hospital budget on himself, for example, in "My Kingdom", he spends hospital money on a golf trip to Hawaii rather than buying a new computer for the hospital^[18], and in "My Hypocritical Oath", when he admits having used hospital funds to buy a T.V. instead of an MRI machine.

Kelso's humanity

Kelso has a well-hidden compassion for his patients, his coworkers, and even his employees. He looks after his gardener and their family ("Who wants Dairy Queen!?"), he gives Carla a lift to the hospital, and demonstrates a close, friendly relationship with people outside of his work^[19]. While he often jokes about it, he is accepting of his gay son's lifestyle and really does love him. While trying with Dr. Cox to crush Dr. Molly Clock's spirit in "My Common Enemy", he feels remorse when she appears to break down due to their efforts. This is what Molly was trying to prove all along; that neither Cox or Kelso are the completely heartless men they try to appear to be^[20]. Cox has noted in the past that deep down Kelso does hate to be thought of as the most hated person in the hospital. ^[18].
"My Scrubs" reveals that Kelso has always known about how patients with no health insurance have been receiving treatment, but keeps quiet to keep the system running^[22]. He even flies into a rage when an uninsured friend of his goes untreated, showing that Kelso does care about treating uninsured patients and will pretend not to notice what's going on as the patient gets treatment. In "My Best Moment", he gives a man without insurance a free stay at the hospital. He finds the man's eight-year old child to be particularly affable and can't bring himself to doom the boy's father to certain death right before Christmas, considering it to be his finest moment in medicine^[23].
It may even be argued that Kelso's seeming animosity towards his staff may be out of compassion for the patients at Sacred Heart. In "His Story IV", the admission of Private Brian Dancer, who was wounded in Iraq, sparks political debate with the staff of Sacred Heart; Kelso notes that the debate is causing a decline in the quality of care. In order to end the political strife, Kelso suspends the employee discount that the staff are enjoying from the coffee shop, with the exception of himself, in order to unite the hospital in their hatred of him and keep them focused on the patients they are caring for.
It can also be argued that Kelso makes the hard choices that no-one else can, which although it makes him seem to be a bad guy, he has to do for the good of the hospital.
Kelso has also shown certain respect for nurse Laverne Roberts; In "My Long Goodbye", he calls her "one of the good ones" and kisses her while she is comatose. It has also been hinted at that he had slept with Nurse Roberts at some point before he married Enid.^[24].
Of recent seasons, Kelso has been portrayed in a much warmer light and has shown to have a more friendly relationship to the other staff members; He has even become less abusive of Ted as of late. He has also been less antagonistic with the staff, even having lunch with Dr. Cox on several occasions and even trying to help Cox get through his depression in "My Fallen Idol". He also plays "Macaroni" with J.D. (flicking macaroni noodles at Dr. Beardface) and is quite good at it. Kelso also helps Turk play a prank on Dr. Cox in "My Turf War". Despite all this, Kelso still displays hostilities towards Elliot Reid for getting a better job in private practice without thanking him for his role in her being a doctor until she does thank him in "My No Good Reason" and presents him with a recently deceased patient's bulldog for him to have (Baxter's death not being but a year before).

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