AGE DISPARITY IN SEXUAL RELATIONSHIPS

Significant 'age disparity in sexual relationships' has been a feature of couples in many cultures and societies. The most common pattern in heterosexual couples is an older man with a younger woman. This may be brought about as an arranged marriage, or either member may pursue and initiate the relationship. Situations involving a younger male with an older female also exist, and while not as common are considerably more common in recent years. Homosexual relationships of both sexes are also found. Age disparity in extreme cases may be seen as dysfunctional (a paraphilia) if such relationships are pursued to the exclusion of all others and to the detriment of the partners. The term 'alphamegamia' can be used when a person is sexually aroused by partners of a different age group^[1], and "chronophilia" can describe a sexual fixation on members of a different age group.

Contents

Motives

Age disparity as paraphilia

Social criticism

The "half-your-age-plus-seven" rule

Slang terms

See also

References

Motives

Factors leading into a search for a younger individual to share an intimate relationship with can vary wildly. One motivator may be the excitement and energy of a younger mate, which improves the personal well-being of the older partner. Some older partners may seek the connection with the culture of youth, maintaining a connection with the fashion, the music, the media which their age group has ostensibly outgrown. Lastly, a common perception of younger mates is that they serve the purpose of a "trophy", or object of status; This motive is usually associated with males rather than females, as there are arguably fewer societal pressures on women to find an attractive mate.
Younger partners may be attracted to older mates out of innate desire, or may be searching for someone who is socially or financially more secure. Younger partners, especially those experiencing difficulty finding partners among their peers, may want an older partner for non-economic reasons: an older partner may be wiser, better educated, socially more sophisticated, may have greater emotional respect for a partner, and may have decided that life is too short for common romantic prejudices. A modern stereotype is that of a young adult pursuing relationships with older mates in order to compensate for a lack of parental bond with a mother or father during childhood.
Many psychologists study the phenomenon of age disparity, and have observed certain extremes of the above referenced behavior. They have coined a number of terms to describe various types of psychological preferences :

★ Chronophilia is a general term, applied to any age-related preference.

★ Ephebophilia is the attraction of older individuals to adolescents, a phenomenon generally not assigned a separate term in most cultures unless it is between adult males and adolescent boys.

★ Infantophilia is the attraction of older individuals to small children (ages ranging from 0 to 5).

★ Pedophilia is the attraction of older individuals to pre-adolescents.

★ Teleiophilia, a generally unused term, is the attraction of younger individuals to older individuals.

★ Gerontophilia is the attraction of non-elderly individuals to the elderly.

Age disparity as paraphilia

There is also the issue of whether all age-disparate relationships fall under the definition of paraphilia. Individuals who ''exclusively'' pursue age-disparate relationships are generally classified by psychologists as parasexual, that is, their behavior is qualitatively different from the norm. Individuals who ''occasionally'' pursue age-disparate relationships are not included in this category, except in the popular press. As is speculated with other practices considered paraphilia, sexual imprinting may play a role in age-disparate relationships.

Social criticism

In some societies age-disparate relationships are seen as aberrant or even perverse. Historically, the "gold digger" mentality has been frowned upon as being akin to prostitution. The age difference that is generally accepted by modern society varies directly with the age of the individuals involved in the relationship; larger differences are more acceptable with older individuals. For example, while an eight-year difference might be considered unacceptable (and illegal in some places) between a 23-year-old and a 15-year-old, it is less remarkable between a 30-year-old and a 22-year-old, and generally unnoticed completely between a 58-year-old and a 50-year-old.

The "half-your-age-plus-seven" rule

The "half-your-age-plus-seven rule" is a mathematical formula that purports to judge whether the age difference in an intimate relationship is socially acceptable.^{[2][3] [4] [5] [6] [7] [8]} Mathematically speaking, the rule is:

$\{cfrac\{Age\; of\; Older\; Individual\}\{2\}\; +\; 7\}\; =\; Minimum\; Age$
For example, if Shane is 30 and wants to date Kristen, who is 20, he would be in violation of the rule, the minimum age being 22. Notice, however, that the age difference matters less as the potential partners grow older. In this case, Shane would have four years to wait before the age difference in the relationship was "socially acceptable". This formula falls apart at 13, because 13/2+7=13.5, which is older instead of younger. At 14, it means that you could only date a 14 year old.

Slang terms

A number of slang terms exist to describe pairings in which one individual is much older than the other:

★ 'Cougar' refers to an older woman, usually in her late 30's or 40's who sexually pursues younger men. Term used by motion picture movie ''Oceans 13'' and the NBC reality tv show ''Age of Love''.

★ 'Chickenhawk' describes an older gay man who sexually pursues younger males, i.e. "twinks"/"chickens" or underage boys. The term was used as the name of a television documentary on the subject of NAMBLA.

★ 'Jailbait' refers to a particularly sexually attractive person, female or male, below the legal age of consent. This designation connotes enticement to endanger oneself of being prosecuted for statutory rape.

★ 'Lolita' refers to a sexually precocious young girl who is the object of desire of a significantly older man. Used in English the term refers to the title character of Vladimir Nabokov's novel ''Lolita'', who is referred to by the book's narrator, Humbert Humbert, as a 'nymphet'. While "nymphet" is still used to refer to children, "Lolita" has come to be applied to older adolescents and young women in the context of pornography.

★ ' (Wiktionary link)' - (''Mother I'd Like to Fuck'') refers to mothers who attract the sexual attention of younger men. This acronym was popularized by the movie ''American Pie'' and is frequently referred to in pornography.

★ 'Sugar Daddy' (originally literally referring to a sugar plantation owner in the southern U.S.) refers to a rich, usually older man who offers money or gifts to a less rich, usually younger person in return for companionship or sexual favours. This differs from prostitution in that the older man is usually the sole financial provider to the younger person.

See also

★ Ageplay

★ Child sexuality

★ Generation gap

★ Enjo kōsai

★ Historical pederastic couples

★ List of films featuring May-December romances

★ Marriageable age

★

★ Pederasty

★ Sugar Daddy

★ the Mary Kay Letourneau case

★ the Karen Louise Ellis case

★ the Debra Lafave case

★ the Bridget Mary Nolan case

★ the Pamela Rogers Turner case

★ the Sarah Jayne Vercoe case

References